What The Aspirin Is Used For
by Hina-86
Summary: Leon runs into someone at the drugstore while buying aspirin and something else only she knows. WARNING: Yaoi, and an evil plot at the end. Might do a sequel if you ask


Leon stirred up from his resting place on his lover's chest. The faint memory came back before he was about to loose his surroundings, and it kicked the word 'sleep' away.

*Shit! How did I forget?*

Maybe he should let it go...

*No, it has to be dealt with right now.*

Leon glanced down at the peacefully sleeping lover of his.

So beautiful.

Leon leaned down and whispered lightly into his lover's ear, "Chris?"

"Nnnn..." Chris groaned, half asleep, "Pleah.... no fih houn.." He turned away and clung to the pillow and nuzzled it. "Sooo tihe..."

He blushed at those incoherent words. It never occurred to him the brunette could actually get wired off. Leon traced a finger alongside the tanned back and smiled at the sweet sounds he heard. Taking a deep breath, Leon sat straight and looked at the wall in front of him. "Chris, wake up," The reflection of their tangled limbs in bed on the mirror set over the wall against them was making him somehow and after all the things they have done together uncomfortably hot.

*Not now, Kennedy,* he reminded himself. "Chris, we need to talk."

The reaction he got was something he didn't think of, however, as the brunette bolted up and looked at him with wide blue eyes, gripping him by the arms and shaking, "You're breaking up with me?!!" his lips trembled with fear.

Leon blinked at the weeping 'grown up' man. "Eh? No!" The way those tears were pouring down his face reminded him of an anime show he watched some time ago in training camp, but that was another story.

Now he has to calm the other man down or else.

*Claire!*

Sighing, Leon took his boyfriend into his arms and rocked him back and forth. "Chris, calm down. I'm not braking up with you."

Chris pulled back just slightly to look up at Leon. "You're not?"

Leon shook his head, affording a gentle smile to assure him. "I'm not."

The ex-S.T.A.R.S. member exhaled loudly. "What do you want to talk about then?" he asked as he laid back on bed, eyes closed and a content smile drawn on his face.

Leon caressed the chocolate locks absently. "It's about your sister."

Chris cracked one eye open to look up at him.

"Claire? What about her?"

"I think she's delusional."

Chris now cracked both eyes open to look up at him. "What do you mean?"

"I ran up to her in the drug store this afternoon..."

"And??"

"She saw me buying... You know,"

"Aspirin?"

"Plus condoms," Leon's cheeks flushed.

Chris however decided to give his brains the day off and he simply shrugged with a bored grunt. "So?" he closed his eyes and crossed his arms behind his head.

Leon stared at him for moments before hitting the man's head, "Your sister has a crush on me, you idiot!" Chris rubbed the side of his head, "I totally forgot,"

The blonde sighed then lay beside him. "So?" Leon caressed the unshaved cheek, "What are we going to do?"

"Here's what I know, I can't tell here about us cuz she would rip my head off."

Leon frowned, not at the reply but at his lover's condition. He was semi-hard again! "But Chris, don't you think she will eventually find out?" he slapped the hand wondering down his body.

Chris grabbed the young man by the arm and pulled him down for a taste, "She will," he murmured against Leon's mouth as the other man pulled back to catch his lost breath but not too far since Chris is still stronger than him and was holding his head in place, "And that day will be the day when I am far far away, on an isolated island with you, hot-stuff," Chris lapped at the full lips whilst his hand was getting lower and lower, down to its goal┘

*SLAP!*

"Ouch!!"

"Stop it! I don't have another condom on," The warning in Leon's harsh hiss was enough to bring back little sense to him. He glared back, but neither backed away from each other.

"Hump," Chris pouted and looked away, "Why didn't you buy lube instead, then?"

"Because, mister smartass, I've got a reputation to keep."

The other man just glared at him. "I'm an embarrassment to you then?"

"No, but you do know what they say about a guy buying lubricant."

"What?"

Leon rolled his eyes, "Gay," he snorted.

Chris caressed the side of his lover's face adoringly, then slapped. "Are you in your mind! Do we make a hetero couple over here?!!" He pointed his finger between themselves. Leon was about to spit fire at his lover for getting bitch slapped when the reality about their relation's state came down to him. "No..."

"Then," Chris bit his lower lip to prevent his wicked grin from reaching his ears, but failed miserably at it and Leon eyed the blue eyes with his suspicions ones. Chris placed his hands at the small of Leon's back and pulled him down roughly onto him, "Why don't we throw caution out the window and go for another round?" and this time the grin reached his ears.

Leon gasped at the sudden feeling of naked hips grinding against other naked hips, he looked down at his blue eyed lover and glared. "No!"

"Come on, it's not like we gonna need lube anyway," Chris chuckled at the blush painting his beloved blonde's cheeks.

"And risk your sister finding about us this way? No, thank you."

Chris nuzzled his neck, "She's a heavy sleeper,"

"You're loud screamer,"

"But that's what you like most about me, right?" Leon rolled his eyes as Chris tried to make badass sense with him, "So," he grinned, "Wanna top or be topped?"

"No," the unnatural blonde finally stated and with extra power pushed himself off the horny man and laid on his side, back facing the brunette, "I have work to do tomorrow, and same goes for you, Chris."

Leon heard a disappointed grunt and he knew he had won the battle.

However, the strong muscled arms encircled his waist from behind and with that sly tongue dancing on the back of his neck have turned the events on him. Leon regretted the thought of winning against the brunette's persuasion, especially when Chris nudged the back of his legs with his knee.

Chris bite his earlobe playfully, "I'll give you a ride to the moon.." his whispered words were soaked with sluttish immorality, taht gave him goosebumps all over his body.

Last coherent thoughts ran through his mind before pouncing the evil man were: *Ah, the hell with it!*

**~*~*~**

Chris was sitting at the kitchen's table eating cereal when his young sister walked in, all dressed up for work and mumbling a hoarse 'morning' at him before she bumped her foot into the lower cabinet and shrieked at the jolting pain, to hopping on one foot with her injured one clutched to her chest.

That pain woke here up fully now and will put her mood into danger.

After a few minutes, the throbbing slightly eased and Claire was able set herself down, pouring her self some coffee to get wasted on as she'll start another boring day.

"Watch out next time," Chris smirked.

"Hah, would've been if I got some modest sleep,"

He almost lost his grip on the spoon. Chris looked up at her, "What do you mean?" he tried to sound innocent, but he knew he can't pull that act on her.

She rolled her eyes and smeared a toast with strawberry jam, "You know what I exactly mean," Claire pointed the butter knife towards him, eyes glaring cold death from the lack of rest, "Next time you want to bring a date with you, warn me so I can arrange a sleepover somewhere else,"

Chris chuckled lightly, "Okie dokie," he beamed at her and shoved another full spoon down his mouth.

Claire smiled, her old brother would always act childish and it will always make her happy, despite her current thoughts about throttling him and his noisy girlfriend. Time to wipe that goofy smile off his face, she thought to herself. "By the way, Chris,"

"Mm?"

"Who were you with last night? I tried not to listen but it was hard to do, there was a strange voice in your room, and yours was rather, how do I put it in a nice way, loud?"

Mushy cereal sputtered all over the place, excluding Claire who hid herself quickly behind her bag. She sniggered. "What? Did I say something wro-" she was cut by the door bell.

Knowing already who it would be Claire ran to open the door, injury forgotten, and smiled up sweetly at Leon who greeted her back and walked together to the Redfield's kitchen. Apparently, Leon is her morphine.

It was a good thing there's a tree outside Chris' bedroom's window, Leon mused as he took a chair facing Chris, who was munching on his cereals and exchanged the nod.

"Hey, Leon," Claire handed him a cup of coffee and he accepted politely, "Did you hear about my brother's date from your work or anything?"

Leon frowned at her, he took a sip from his coffee and shook his head 'No'.

"Well, there is someone he's shagging up with and I don't know why he doesn't want me to know," Claire sighed and faced her brother. "Who is this mysterious girl, Chris?"

There was a bright grin on Leon's face as he beamed up at his lover. "Yeah Chris, who is this mysterious girl?" the older brunette looked up from his food and raised one eyebrow a Leon. "Someone we know? Someone from work?"

"Someone with a nice rack," Chris glared at the grinning idiots sitting in front of him. Leon ignored the snide comment. "Perhaps... Jill?" he leered.

"Oh! It must be her!" Claire clapped her hands, overjoyed like she had solved the global-warming problem. "I couldn't reach her last night, her phone was off the whole time!"

"You little dog," Chris glared even more at his still grinning boyfriend.

Maybe I should punish him for pushing me to the limits of my bearings. Which would do him better? Cuffing or spanking?

"Chrissie, where is she??"

Claire's question brought him back from his evil plot for revenge.

"Huh? Who?"

Claire rolled her eyes. "Jill, Chris. Where is Jill?"

"Jill? Uhh.. I, uhm.." he scratched the back of his head, obviously lacking of good lies like always do.

"Oh dear," Claire frowned at him, "Don't tell me it was only a random nightstand?"

Chris nodded with a wide grin, "Well Claire, Jill have work to do and wouldn't date me, and I have needs" *I should fill Jill out about this later,* he thought.

There was a heavy sigh as Claire shook her head. "Is it just the sex men ever think about?"

Chris winked at Leon. "What, you think they wanna waste time giving their ladies romantic evenings and cuddles?" he said that and both men laughed like maniacs.

Claire was going to ask what the wink supposed to mean, but her cellphone came to life and she glared at its ID. "Damn, my foot hurts," Claire whimpered when her forgotten accident came back. "Leon, you got aspirin, right?"

At this, both men snapped out of their thumb-war game and stared at her like she'd just said the forbidden word. "What?" They both blushed and she didn't know why. Leon was looking at her with wide eyes while Chris looked everywhere but her face. *Does he know about the whole thing? Shit!* Claire felt worry over Leon's well being that her protective brother might do something nasty to him, but then she decided to shake that thought off when he didn't seem to do anything but looking around and scratching his head.

"Nothing! Uh, let me check just a minute," he laughed nervously before patting his pockets. After pulling two pistols, a magnum, a rifle and sniper, five magazines and seven bullets packs out of his jacket; he began searching in his pants' pockets and came up with three pieces of mint gum, a picklock, a can opener -both siblings gave him a queer look at that device- his cellphone, his steering wheel so that no one will steal his car, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He finally pulled the medicine bottle while trying not to control his blush at what his hand connected with. He was smart enough not to pull them out, though.

"Thanks," Claire smiled that 'I know what you are planning' smile at him and swallowed a pill with water following it down her throat. She grabbed her bag and head for the door, "Ok boys, I'll catch up with you later," she then paused and turned over to wave 'bye-bye' to her blonde crush. "Later,"

After waving backing until the door was closed, Leon slumped down, resting his head on his crossed arms on the table, and released a long heavy groan.

Chris sighed. "Yeah, she's not going to be an easy case."

**~*~*~**

"Maybe it's code name for condoms then," Ada shrugged.

"But I never heard Chris uses codes for sex, let alone condoms,"

"Maybe because you never had sex with him to know,"

"Well, you hadn't have sex with Leon either, so stuff it sister," Jill glared at the Chinese woman who in return showed her teeth in a mean sneer.

"Well, what ever it meant, it made their faces red like ketchup," Claire cut the two girls before their little talk turns into a bitchy war and giggled, "You should've been there, god I wish I had a camera at that moment,"

"Has it occurred to you, ladies, that they might actually be involved together in a relationship?" A tall dark figure walked by them and the trio rolled their eyes. "Yeah right, you wish," They laughed and shoved the blonde man aside to continue their 'journey' to their offices when Rebecca appeared from her office. "You guys! I can't get my work done over here! What's going on to make you noise around like that?"

"Rebecca you'll never believe what I found out," Claire pushed her back to her office, followed close by Jill and Ada. Giggles and laughter were heard behind the closed door.

"Those idiot females are good for nothing but gossiping." Albert Wesker shook his head and continued his way to his office. He didn't do anything deceived anymore and it was making him depressed.

Then, an idea about spying on Chris' and Leon's intimacy and selling copies on the Internet made his soul lighten. "Now that will be something nice to do," Wesker grinned evilly and decided to start working on his plan.

* * *

Won't you download the clip? It's for free!

lol just kidding :P

No seriously, don't do it. Wesker will put high price on that tape just to empty the pockets of fangirls.

Please comment! Comments make my day (and my RE boys' day XDXD)


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